Happy New Year

Germans go around this time of year wishing each other 'Einen Guten Rutsch', which means 'A good slide'; most folks around here think it is a nice folksy way to wish each other a nice slide into the new year. But I've read it comes from Yiddish - from the Rosh in Roshhashana, or the Jewish new year.

To prep for new years Germans spend inordinate amounts of money on fireworks. They may only be purchsed 3 days before New Year's, and then only shot off immediately after midnight. This means the skies over the town are full of backyard displays for at least an hour tonight. Also means that tomorrow everyone has to go into the yard and find the debris. The smell of sulfur can linger until morning, if the evening is still.

Another German New Year's tradition is a skit called 'Dinner for One'. Oddly, this show, from 1963, was recorded in Germany, but in its original English. All evening, you can see it, or one of the many recreations in high German, Swiss German, or any dialect.

Tonight newly 5 year old Anke and her older brother will join us in the street to look at the crazy neighbors' fireworks display. Anke still believes the fireworks are especially for her birthday. Peter lets her believe this.

Anke Engleke

Anke Engleke is my favorite figure on German television at the moment. When our little Anke was born, everyone in Germany said 'Oh yeah - Danke, Anke' - a catch phrase made popular by her which had gone through a 'yeah, that's the ticket' kind of phase. Therefore I wasn't really disposed to like her, even if she does do the German voice of Marge Simpson.

Since last week, though, I'm a fan. Like in the U.S., German TV is rife with reality shows - Super Nanny, Wife Swap, etc, all have German equivalents. A few I've only seen on German TV - Raus von den Schulden (Out of Debt) and Wohnen nach Wunsch (Living as Wished). But like in all these shows, some expert descends on some helpless family and reforms them.

Well, Ms. Engelke's show last week did a send up on these - all the experts paid visits, one after the other, to Josef and Maria von Nazareth - in their stable. First came the debt advisor, who didn't see them getting clear (and who wondered why the baby Jesus didn't look like his dad), then the Super Nanny, who told Josef he had anger control issues (and who wondered why the baby didn't look like his dad), then the kitschy redecorator, who renovated their stable and turned their donkey into a throw rug (and who wondered why the baby didn't look like his dad). At the end, Josef, crazed, slams the door on the next visitors - the 3 wise men bearing gifts.

You couldn't do that on network TV in the US.

Weird German

Typical Friday night - 'studying' German while watching mediocre American made-for-TV movies translated into German (although this one, oddly, was made in Germany in English). I always notice odd things in German when I'm half-learning like this - a few of my current ponderables:

German has a lot of similarities to English - prepositions, for example, that can only be used in certain ways - ponder the difference between 'throw out', 'throw in' and 'throw up'. The prepositions in German are similar enough to English to cause a lot of confusion - for example, in Germany, your house is 'in a street', but you walk 'on the street' - exactly switched from English.

Sometimes I try to learn word roots and build from there. This doesn't always work:

• 'Verwalt' means administration, 'Gewalt' means violence, 'Anwalt' is a lawyer. What's a 'Walt', I must ask, and just how do those three words relate?
• 'Gift' in German means 'poison'.
• 'Mist', instead of being a nice light fog, means 'manure'.

Oh well, back to work.

It's christmasing a lot...

Someone commented to me on the last trip home, "German Christmas is a smaller celebration than in the U.S., isn't it?). Actually, I like to point out that at least one poet verbed the word "Christmas" (Es weihnachtet sehr; hence the title of this piece), which I feel shows how seriously this time of year is taken in Germany!

Maybe the celebration on Dec. 25 is a bit more relaxed than in the U.S. (at least comparing my family to the husband's). But Germans start the party in late November, really, with the opening of the Christmas Markets in the downtowns of almost every city. Some are quite famous - Nüremburg, for example, and I met a couple on the plane recently who were coming to German just to make a Christmas-market visiting cruise on the Rhine! At the Christmas markets, items ranging from traditional wooden toys to nativity sets to handcrafts are for sale, as well as numerous stands selling all kinds of food.

Then, of course, there is the Glühwein (mulled wine - click for recipe). This is ubiquitous in the markets, with stands selling the warm drink in ceramic mugs (deposit required) and drunk at the beer-garden type tables surrounding the stand. Really, there's nothing like this - the warm alcohol and spices hitting your tummy while you stand in the cold evening air...

Follow it with some candied roasted almonds or roasted chestnuts (heretofore just known to me through Christmas songs) and you're set for the evening.

Now, nestled in among all the Christmas-market visits, is the Feast of St. Nicholas. The original saint's feast day, with its tradition of gift giving, was apparently mixed up with Christmas some time ago, and thus in the U.S. we have Santa Claus. But tonight St. Nick will be visiting us and filling the stockings with a few goodies and small toys.

Finally comes Christmas. Not content at this point with a single day, Germans instead start the celebrating seriously on Christmas eve; this is when most folks attend church (although the tradition of midnight mass was lost through curfews during the occupation after the war; "Midnight" is now at about 10pm). Also, at least around here, presents are opened Christmas Eve (the Christmas Man or Christ Child, depending on your religion (Cath/Prot), apparently arrives while you're at church).

The next day, the First Day of Christmas, is spent doing all same type of Christmas activities Americans would recognize - visiting, playing, feasting, singing "Oh Tannenbaum"... The feasting is mostly confined to sweets, though; meals tend to be relaxed affairs on this day. Then comes the Second Day of Christmas - a repeat of the first day! And the bonus is, since it's weighted pretty much as importantly as the first day, that you can spread your visits out over the two days, and no one feels miffed you weren't there on "the" day.

Then you have a few days to recuperate before New Years. You need it.

The Triple Crown

Forgot to post - P. successfully achieved his Yellow-White belt at Judo the other day. For those not in the know, these days they have added intermediate belts for the junior judo circuit, so the wee ones needn't wait years between levels. Unfortunately, P. didn't place in the intra-club tournament that had, but he was awarded an honorary 3rd place medal as solace.

St. Martin's Day

These past weeks have been a flurry of activity to prepare for the annual St. Martin's celebrations. These are a big deal for the little kids, who spend hours preparing paper lanterns (with varying degrees of help from the mothers). The children will meet after dark (i.e. 4:45pm at this time of year) for a procession through the village. In the olden days these lanterns would be lit by candles; but as every adult can remember the heartbreak of a friend's lantern engulfed in flames, everyone uses specially purchased battery powered lantern rod & light combinations.

After the parade, in which the children sing the traditional St. Martin's songs about his generous exploits to the accompaniment of a small marching band, there is a bonfire. St. Martin, who's been shadowing the parade the whole time on this horse, comes to the front and re-enacts the famous St. Martin-and-the-Beggar story (see picture). Then he hands out to all the children a kind of slightly sweet pastry in the shape of a man carrying a clay pipe, called a Weckmann. I've read this is supposed to represent Martin, who was a bishop, and the clay pipe is an inverted Bishop's crook.

After this activity (which is usually accompanied by Glühwein, or mulled wine, for the grown ups), the kids go door to door with their lanterns, singing for the homeowners and collecting candy. This has been going on for generations though, so unlike a lot of things here the Germans can't blame an American cultural trait (here: Halloween). And I must say: the kids' haul was much bigger, for less "work", than in the U.S.!

St. Martin is apparently a popular saint throughout Europe. It's always pointed out that the festival is a good chance to teach the kids the power of sharing, but splitting of a cloak in half to share with someone who has NOTHING seems a rather shaky platform on which to build an entire festival! I'm also not sure what the significance of the lanterns is; probably descended from some pagan ritual.

In my more cynical moments I wonder: If Valentine's Day is a "Hallmark Holiday", and Christmas is encouraged by the toy and luxury good industry, then is St. Martin's Day pushed by the paper products industry? Somebody has to buy all that construction and transparent paper!

But it's still really cool.

Interesting note: at 11:11 a.m., on Nov. 11 (11/11), Karneval season officially opens. New royalty is named, and slowly, very slowly, Karneval activities begin, like Sitzungen (literally: A Seating), which is sort of a series of corny stand-up comedy acts in a beer-hall type setting.

Picturs of the lanterns to follow.

Peter can drive a pen.

Well, the boy passed trial number 2 this week, successfully obtaining his Fountain Pen Driver's License. His teacher felt his chicken scratching was real handwriting. How am I supposed to know - I can't read this (*&$%@($ "simplified" handwriting the kids have to learn. In my defense, other parents I talk to (including my German teacher) can barely decipher it either.

P. insists on having the License with him in class, to prove to the other children that he is worthy. Although, he did point out the down side - now he MUST use the fountain pen, whereas before he might choose his implement.

Now onto trial number 3: Judo.

Ein Hattrick.

Big week for Peter.

Monday we met his swimming teacher for a swimming test. He passed and is now the proud owner of a 'Seepferdchen' - or little sea horse - certification. Thursday at swim class he will get his patch, which I, or someone who actually knows the sharp end of a needle from the dull, will sew onto his swim trunks. To achieve this he had to jump into the water, swim the pool end to end, and back (25 meters each way), and dive down to retrieve a ring.

I believe the certification is called little sea horse because of the way Peter swam - only a little offset from vertical, with his feet doing little else than providing a little upward force. Reminded me, in fact, of a sea horse's style. His arms did all the work. But he never gave up, and even did an extra set of laps just to show off (ok, maybe because his teacher told him to).

The next test of the week was to get his 'Füllerführerschein' - or fountain pen driver's license - in school. The German schools still encourage the use of fountain pens because it's believed that it encourages the children to be more careful in writing. Indeed, his handwriting with the fountain pen is better than with a pencil, but he always has blue splotches on his hands as a result. He has a special 'beginner' fountain pen, suitably colorful. After weeks of agonizing, Peter finally finished up the last few sentences of the text he was supposed to copy 'error free'. This means only that he had to catch and correct all his errors before the teacher did.

Friday: We'll see if he manages to go from his White belt in Judo to his White-Gold belt. Nowadays they have intermediate steps for the little ones so they don't have to wait years between promotions. Wouldn't it be nice if real life was like that?

Btw: The title's not a typo; it's Denglish for Hat Trick.

Family Matter

This week the husband installed the new card for the satellite receiver, to enable us to continue receiving the subscription channels with the English-language programming. Of course, in an effort to hook us on more expensive services, the company gave us 2 weeks of all their programming, free.

S. was exploring the new offerings and the packages available - just as American cable companies bundle certain channels together. One caught his attention - the 'family package'.

Now, in the U.S., a family package usually refers to programming which is suitable and attractive to the whole family - a mix of movies, kid's programming, and sports, usually. In Germany, however, or at least for this particular company, 'family' apparently means that there are channels for everyone in the family, even that creepy uncle around whom no one is really comfortable. For part of this package is the 'Beate-Uhse' channel, inspired by a famous chain of sex-toy shops.

Yes, the family package includes a porn channel.

Of course, the broadcasts don't begin until after the small kids are in bed, and therr is apparently a 4-digit security code you can invoke, so it's obviously meant just for the adults. Maybe it's just considered a part of a normal adult lifestyle here.

Or maybe it's all part of an effort to increase the birth rate in this country - as this 'Germany Needs More Babies' commercial seems to suggest.




Ok, there will be a comment accusing me of watching the porn channel. I wasn't impressed. It involved a chimney sweep and his encounters with the ladies on his route. Lots of bad jokes about how he was a 'bringer of good luck', nudge-nudge, wink-wink, and a lot of shots of him, literally, cleaning chimneys. Maybe the hard core stuff is on after 10 pm.

Environment Zones

The new trend among local municipalities is to institute "Environment Zones".

You have to understand that here in Moers we live just about adjacent to the Rhine and Ruhr rivers. Along the Rhine are large cities like Düsseldorf and Kologne; alone the Ruhr is the famous (in Europe) Ruhr Region, Germany's own Rust Belt. As a result, our state, North-Rhein Westphalia, has not only the largest and most dense population in Germany, but also some of the worst traffic in Europe.

Diesel cars are far more popular here in Germany than in the U.S. Diesels, however, put out a lot more particulates, than gasoline powered autos. (I have read that particulate output is actually more closely controlled in the U.S. than in Germany; the required filter to take care of the fine particulates is one reason diesel cars are more expensive in America).

So now cities are delineating areas into which only the cleanest cars can go. Luckily both our cars earned a green 4; my in-laws, with a diesel red 2, can no longer drive into the downtowns of several cities in the area. To do so (and to be caught) would mean a fine as well as points on the license.

I find this trend interesting because it's one of the few areas I've noticed where local levels of government are moving to regulate something like this. Usually, it seems to me, most of these directives come from the federal level.

I suffer, you suffer

This is what was in front of my house the other day. Yes, I did get out a ruler and measure it for all of you; no one believed me when I said they were 4 inches long. Enjoy.



The blue-green pellets are the "slug corn" I put out to kill the beast. It ignored them disdainfully. So I eventually had to get a stick from the woodpile and flick it (they scrunch up rather painfully appearing when they are poked) several times until I could push it down the hole in the manhole cover in front of the neighbors' house. I couldn't let it just go about ravaging the neighborhood, could I?

Then the (brave?) slug slayer celebrated with a cup of coffee, extra cream. Livin' large!

German woes

I'm taking an intermediate German class. After we were a third through the first term, our first teacher disappeared to a full-time job, and our new teacher came. Let me describe her: she is about 6 feet tall, size 6, obviously a runner, and sweet as a summer's day. She is also made of steel and carries an invisible whip made of smiles. You can't decide if you should fear her or take her out for coffee.

I come home from this evening completely exhausted. The exhaustion comes from having had some concepts of grammar I've had in my head for 30 years completely turned on its side, taking my head with it.

Turns out that what I've always fondly called an adjective in English isn't always in German - sometimes it's an adverb. And it wasn't even the subject of the exercise, this dismantling of my understanding; the point was a review of German declinations. Take this example:

The beautiful woman (die schöne Frau)
The woman is beautiful (Die Frau ist schön).

Now, we always learned in school that in sentences where the verb is essentially, "to be", the verb is essentially an equals sign and there's no real predicate - what comes after the verb is equivalent to the subject. And you can't really modify "is" in English. We also learned that anything that describes a noun is an adjective. So in English, both "beautifuls" are adjectives. Turns out that "beautiful" in the second sentence is, in German, an adverb. I'm told this should be clear to be because it's not declined (the "e" missing from "schön" in the second example). But I'm really still trying to get my mind around the concept that, in German, you can modify "to be".

This is made the more earth-moving to me by the fact that I took my first German course in 1991, and you'd think that maybe, just maybe, I'd have gotten this concept down 17 years ago.

I am not well tonight. Wait, I just modified "to be", didn't I? Now I'm really not well.

On top of that she inflicted upon us a particular kind of German academic torture called a "diktat". Not like Dictator, but like dictation. The teacher reads a text, perhaps slowly (yes, this time), perhaps repeating phrases (no, this time), which the students have to write out. German kids start this in first grade; it's actually a subject appearing on their report cards. Being the person I am, I had to ask, WHY? Supposedly, she explained (indirect speech is one place German has English beaten), it trains the children (and childlike foreigners) to write things down automatically, without stopping to agonize over punctuation and spelling.

We wrote the short paragraph and self graded this mini exam (my 10 errors put me far from the leaders in the class, but I suspect some fellow students of undercounting). She announced that she was giving this to us because, when she asked if we had understood every word in the text, everyone nodded immediately. Once again, being the person I am, I had to point out that I had understood the paragraph and all the words in it; my problem is simply atrocious spelling and lack of any sense of German punctuation rules. So sadly, I learned something, but not apparently what my teacher was trying to show me.

Why here and not there?

I've been wondering why, given my last post, in Germany we have a female Chancellor (Bundeskanzlerin) - Angela Merkel - and it wasn't that big a deal (although a historic first) while it's a gut wrenching ordeal with allegations of sexism and female inadequacy in the U.S.

I think a big part of it is that she comes from the East, which had, during the communist era, more of a tradition of working mothers. But I think perhaps a bigger factor comes from the way the German system elects its politicians.

When Germans go to the polls, they vote for an individual (who has a party affiliation) to represent their district, just like in the U.S. However, at the end of the day, officials determine not only the winner of each individual race, but also the overall proportion of votes cast for each party in the election. Each party (as represented by the candidates) that receives at least 5% of the vote, receives seats in the assembly so that the overall proportion of the seated reps is brought into line with the vote. If a party has more elected representatives than would be indicated by the overall vote proportions, those representatives are still seated (the "overhang"). If fewer representatives are directly elected than the proportional vote calls for, the parties appoint representatives from a previously publicized list. The executives, such as Merkel, are usually then elected by the assemblies (although in the national elections, the parties usually publicize who they'll put forward for the executive spot if they win).

So, coupled with the fact that the parties put forth directly elected candidates, plus their opportunity later to fine-tune the representation, means that the parties, if it's a goal of theirs, can further the role of women in their party. Now, when I look at lists of Moers representatives, I see some women in there who list their profession as "Hausfrau". So I believe the parties are working to bring some parity to the representation.

Well, now, once you have the women in the pipeline, it's inevitable that one will eventually rise to the top.

Contrast that with the U.S. system - because every representative is directly elected by the populace, each race is again a struggle to overcome whatever societal prejudices exist - whether gender, race, religion, orientation, or one I haven't heard of yet. Yes, direct representation is a near-holy tenant of the American system, but here you can see how it can actually hinder the promotion of underrepresented groups. Of course, this process in Germany means that the parties have a lot more control over who actually gets seated - which could be a disadvantage.

What do you think?

-the d.h.

Raven Mothers

Interesting article today in the NY Times about the German working woman's dilemma - whether a mother or not. It confirms earlier posts of my own debunking the widely held belief among American women that German women are better off, family-balance-wise. A SciAm article I read recently found a statistical link between the level of support for working mothers in Europe and the country's overall fertility rate.

Wage Gaps for Women Frustrating Germany

One hears occasionally of private daycares opening up, but folks and the government don't seem quite to know what to make of that trend yet...

But it's one example of official government policies (maternity leave, equal rights, prohibiting the question about being pregnant) being ahead of societal (and business) norms. I've heard numerous comments from German friends that confirm a lot of the trends mentioned here, and I personally know just one mother working full time - even the occasional single mother seems only to work part time. And that one mother has told me a) she couldn't do it without the extensive support of her own parents, b) her in-laws only accept her working because her husband is partially disabled, and c) she chose not to have more than 1 child so she could continue working...

Granted, we live in a relatively well-off area; but that just means that most women here, if they absolutely don't have to, don't make the effort. Because they don't want to, or feel they can't ? - that's the question.

A bit of history

Life in Germany was hellish immediately after the war, improving to merely miserable in the following few years.

A friend of my dad's asked for some help with some old German documents she had from her own parents. One of the documents was an old postcard sent to her father in Boston from post-war Germany. With the aid of my mother-in-law, who had to learn the now-archaic script in school, I present the translation. Thought you might be interested.

The postcard comes from the Rheinish-Prussian British Zone, and is stamped as having gone through the military censor for civilian mail.

Honored Herr Cöhnen!
I received your card some time ago, must unfortunately share, that Father didn't survive the war's end, he died already in June 1940, and Mother in March 1945. A brother the youngest fell, my sister-in-law is living in (her) parents' house. 2 brothers-in-law are still in Russian prisions. I myself was released in August as malnourished. I can tell you, Herr Cönen, that was a war. Is good that Vater didn't experience all that, what there is today, such has Germany never experienced. You must see our city and the misery/squalor. When you want to know more about our hometown village I am happily ready with information. In closing once again greetings to your wife and children from beautiful Wanlo.


The original German... is full of misspellings, reproduced here (I didn't include them in the English). Or maybe it was dialect at the time, but he does spell Coenen several different way. He must have been a neighbor; the families obviously knew each other well, but not well enough to use first names (i.e. not intimate friends)

Wehrter Herr Cöhnen!
Habe vor einige Zeit ihre Karte erhalten, muß ihnen leider mitteilen, das Vater das Kriegsende nicht erlebt hat, er is schon im Juni 1940 gestorben, und Mutter im März 1945. Ein Bruder der jüngsten ist gefallen, meine Schwegerin wohnt im Elterlichen Haus. 2 Schwäger sind noch in russicher Gefangschaft. Ich selbst bin im August als Unteränert entlassen worden. Ich kann Ihnen sagen, Herr Cönen das war ein Kreig. Ist gut daß Vater das nicht alles miterlebt hat, und was ist heute, so was hat Deutschland noch nicht mitgemacht. Ihr müßt nur unsere Städt mal sehen und das Elend. Wenn Sie noch mal näheres über Ihr Heimat Dörfchen erfahren wollen, bin ich gerne für Auskunft bereit. Zum Schluß nochmals herzliche Grüße an Ihre Frau und Kinder aus dem schönen Wanlo.
Grüß,
Herr Göbels
(Aus Wieksrath - Niers)

Not the only clueless one

Every so often, amidst the general clueless feeling you get living in a foreign culture, you see someone else slogging through the same morass of novelty and confusion*, and you think "Ok, so I'm not a complete idiot".

Last year, on P.'s first day, I intrepidly led my kids and in-laws through the village to the "Protestant church behind the school" as it was described to me. Now, in all your German classes, you learn that there's a Catholic church, a Protestant church, and the Islamic church representing German culture. It's usually impressed on Americans that there's just one Protestant church, instead of the innumerable variety we have in the states. Imagine my surprise to discover the church deserted. A bit of reconnaissance led to the discovery that they meant a Protestant church 1/4 mile down the street. We hot-footed it over and made it in before the first blessing. All the Germans seemed surprised at my mistake - they had said, after all, the Protestant church, not the FREE Protestant church. When I asked how a foreigner would know that "Free" wasn't just some name like "Sacred Heart", they admitted it would be confusing.

Last week, helping to set up the coffee and cake for the new parents attending the 1st graders' welcoming ceremony, a family, from appearance, dress and accent probably African, approached the principal to ask where the chapel ceremony was being held. Apparently they'd made the same mistake I had. I sidled over and assured them I'd make the same mistake. The principal, showing her lack of understanding, looked at me like she couldn't understand anyone else making such a boneheaded mistake.

Amazing how sometimes I can feel more solidarity with people from a half a world away than with the Germans I've lived with for years, just because we're both outsiders, in that moment, together.

- the d.h.


* Look what happens when I try to get literary - it gets messy.

Back to school, Part II

Hello again, dear Reader (and I do realize there is just one of you... Hello, Aunt Anne).

Fall must really be here, despite what the calendar says. It's dark now by 9 pm! Oh, the joys of living so far north...

P. has adjusted to being back in school relatively smoothly. He does have more periods this week - a total of 21 45-minute periods a week, with as many as 3 help periods. The 3 help periods are for Math, German, and Reading & Writing. I don't yet know how those last two differ; we're to learn at a parents' evening next week. P's presence has been requested in German help this week.

Do I like the primary school system here better than in the US? Hard to say; there are pros and cons. As said before, the practice of keeping the same teacher for 4 years can be either a pro or a con. At least the teacher knows the children very well when, at the end of primary school, they make the potentially life-altering decision of which school the children are suited for - Gymnasium (roughly equivalent to a U.S. high school); Realschule (a high school with the goal of getting the students out into apprenticeships) and Hauptschule (very basic schooling; ends at 10th grade).

Ok, so I'm not really thrilled at the idea of a fate determining decision for my kids at the age of 10. But we'll work with it when the time comes.

I also have a hard time with the variable length of the school day. It should be pointed out though, that all the Germans I know find this completely normal, so it just might be me. On some days, school starts at 8:10; others, 8:55, and lasts from 3 - 5 periods for P. If it weren't for the after-school program, which I use partly to smooth out the days, I'd be in trouble (I admit it - I might forget my child one day because I mixed up days!). There also seems to be a lot of changes in schedule - adding a period here, subtracting there, based largely, it seems, on the availability of teachers and funding. I may have that wrong however; there might be deep and profound reasons P.'s schedule changed 6 times last year.

However, I really like the fact that they have started off putting these extra help periods into the school day from the start, and that there seems to be no stigma among the kids that anyone is in one of these sessions. The teacher changes that part of the schedule often - a child might be in Math Help for 3 weeks, overlapping 2 with Reading/Writing, etc.

I also have to give kudos to the after-school program. Really, it starts before school, as they are there from 7:30 for any kids who have later class-start. Then it goes to 4 pm, which really is a bit short for full-time working parents, but it's a start. In between they have homework help, games and crafts with their "teachers" (in quotes only because the Germans don't call them teachers; the term they use, Erzieher/in*, is more like "educator"). Soon they will be offering special interest programs in the afternoon - from exploring the woods to puppet theater to kid yoga - they are constantly on the lookout for new ideas and leaders. At some point I'd like to work with the older kids on English, maybe starting them on Dr. Suess or something like that.

Meanwhile, A. has enthusiastically reentered Kindergarten (a combination of Kindergarden and Preschool in the US). After some real program problems last year, it would seem that the Kindergarten is getting its act together. I, however, never satisfied, am picking a fight with them about how they are structuring the lunch program. More on that later.

the d.h.


* Off subject, but: German professions almost always have a masculine/feminine form - like teacher / teacheress.

Back to School

Back after a vacation....

Tomorrow is the first day of school. Peter is entering 2nd grade. He's not so sure he's looking forward to it yet, so we'll see what he says Monday afternoon.

Now, I know all you parents in the U.S. have noticed how different primary school is these days, with all the new standards and testing the methodologies. Here the whole kit and caboodle is different - with pro's and con's.

Peter will have the same teacher as last year. Frau P. will remain his teacher until the end of fourth grade. We're very lucky - she's a wonderful teacher so far. But the downside of this system is obvious - what if you get a lousy teacher?

I feel like there is a lack of a new beginning with this system - remember the feeling of the first day of school? To Peter this seems like it's just a return to routine - although, because of school renovations, they are getting a new classroom.

Tuesday the first graders will come for their first day, and all the older classes will be there to welcome them - literally greeting the kids and their families as they approach the school after the ecumenical service at the church near the school (NOT the 'Free Protestant church, but that's another story). The little kids, carrying their 'school cones' (Schultuete) full of goodies, will then be treated to a show.

After that, school really starts up. Another difference between my American schooling and here is that the school days often have different lengths. Last year's first grade class had 19 periods (Germans call them hours) per week - and that obviously doesn't divide by 5 days evenly! Also, as Peter progresses through the grades, more periods will be added.

I have to note that traditionally, it is not the custom to eat lunch at school. It's expected that the children will be met at home by their own Desperate Hausfrau with a hot lunch. Most schools don't have any kind of cafeteria (although the renovation added one to our school). It's not yet clear to me if they'll be offering lunch to all children whose schedules keep them past, say, 1pm, or just to the kids in the after-school program.

It will be interesting to see what happens if we have an August heat wave !

Regime Change Begins at Home

Yours truly will be vacating to Holland for a few days on an impromptu trip with the in-laws and children. As such I won't be able to indulge in my second favorite Independence Day activity, after roasting marshmallows to a crisp: hearing (via internet radio) NPR's traditional recitation of the Declaration of Independence. It's worth a read, despite the 18th century prose - and worth thinking about especially in this election year:

(From the National Archives, http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/declaration_transcript.html)

The Declaration of Independence: A Transcription

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

The 56 signatures on the Declaration appear in the positions indicated:

Column 1
Georgia:
Button Gwinnett
Lyman Hall
George Walton

Column 2
North Carolina:
William Hooper
Joseph Hewes
John Penn
South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge
Thomas Heyward, Jr.
Thomas Lynch, Jr.
Arthur Middleton

Column 3
Massachusetts:
John Hancock
Maryland:
Samuel Chase
William Paca
Thomas Stone
Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia:
George Wythe
Richard Henry Lee
Thomas Jefferson
Benjamin Harrison
Thomas Nelson, Jr.
Francis Lightfoot Lee
Carter Braxton

Column 4
Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris
Benjamin Rush
Benjamin Franklin
John Morton
George Clymer
James Smith
George Taylor
James Wilson
George Ross
Delaware:
Caesar Rodney
George Read
Thomas McKean

Column 5
New York:
William Floyd
Philip Livingston
Francis Lewis
Lewis Morris
New Jersey:
Richard Stockton
John Witherspoon
Francis Hopkinson
John Hart
Abraham Clark

Column 6
New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett
William Whipple
Massachusetts:
Samuel Adams
John Adams
Robert Treat Paine
Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins
William Ellery
Connecticut:
Roger Sherman
Samuel Huntington
William Williams
Oliver Wolcott
New Hampshire:
Matthew Thornton

Medicine in Germany

A few (English) tidbits lately about some aspects of medical care in Germany:

End of life: A healthy but elderly woman with no family, fearing ending her days in a nursing home, commits suicide with assistance. (NY Times)

Underpaid doctors: NPR reports that one way health care costs are kept down is buy strictly budgeting doctors' pay. (National Public Radio)

Mary's favorite employer, Frontline, does a piece on how various countries care for their sick, including Germany. (Frontline)

My (limited) experience?
Expect waits. Usually the wait is about 1/2 for a pre-arranged appointment. Calls on the day, to deal with an urgent sickness, result in a request to come in at a certain time, but don't be fooled - it's not really an appointment, just an attempt by the office staff to manage the stream of walk-ins, and you can expect to wait a LONG time - I've personally had 2 hour waits (with sick kids!). I'm told that if we had "private" insurance, we'd get quicker service.

Doctors do everything. This was one of the first things I noticed - the doctor performs all the elements of the exam - blood pressure, temperature taking, weighing, shot administration, etc. Only a few things, such as blood taking, are performed by specialists in the practice. I see little evidence of any equivalent of Nurse Practitioner or Doctor's Assistants here so far. That being said, there is also very little of the preliminary "checkup" that occurs at every US doctor's office I've ever been in - weighing, blood pressure taking, temperature measurement, recent medical history update. There seems to be the assumption that if you have some concerns, you'll speak up.

Computers - A lot more is computerized here. The doctors are mildly surprised when I hand over American doctors' records, which are handwritten, if you can call it "writing" at all. I don't know if the push toward computerizing the records came as a result of any push from health insurance ("sickness accounts"), but at each visit we do hand over an insurance card with a little chip on it with all our insurance information on it.

Pass Books - for a lot of things, such as children's exams or immunizations (adult too) there are pass books every doctor expects you to have. Not a big deal not to have it, I've found, although the pediatrician did go to a lot of trouble to translate the kids' immunizations into German.

Doctor's hours - are much shorter here. I imagine some of that is because of the house calls mentioned in the NPR account, but I do know most doctors also have hospital obligations, and as such need time to be off with those patients too.

Drugs - very small co-payments, usually, and no co-pay for children under 12, but over-the-counter meds are more expensive. That's partly because they are literally over-the-counter - you go to the pharmacy, describe your problem to the pharmacist, and he or she then suggests a remedy. Consumer help shows advice you to ask for a cheaper alternative to what's suggested; the pharmacist, also a salesperson, is under some pressure to sell you the more profitable items. I recently did this with my allergy meds and saved 40%. Prescription drugs are somewhat subject to "formularies" like in the States; that is, the insurance companies dictate certain brands for certain conditions.

Insurance - I've heard of doctors who won't accept the public insurance any more as they can obtain better payments for the (more expensive) private insurance which ~10% of the populations buys. I have also read that the private insurance gains you access to better specialists

My Overall Conclusion - the system is efficient but overtaxed, with far more need than available physicians (at least judging by the waiting rooms). Germany's population is rapidly aging (NY Times again) so I don't see that changing soon.

Get a job...

I am taking a German course. Why? Because I speak German about as well as Latke from "Taxi" spoke English. Ok, a bit better, but I definitely miss feeling like an adult when I talk to the neighbors. Interestingly, one of the items we read recently in class claimed that without any formal study of the language, your language abilities become "fossilized" after about 2 years of use. That is, you'll continue to add vocabulary, but your grammar and such won't improve further. Perhaps a bit of self promotion on the part of the textbook publisher, but I felt myself that I'd reached some plateau after 1 1/2 years here; that's why I signed up for the class.

But that's just background. I'm really trying to avoid doing this weekend's assignment, which is writing a cover letter for the class. I've decided to "apply" for a job as an English teacher. I've already prepared a resume, with substantial help from the husband, for another, ill-fated application, and I've noticed in these two exercises some differences to the U.S. system that I thought you might find interesting:

• German employers expect to see a picture of you on the resume. Online advice tells me they take this very seriously; a professional portrait is advised. My teacher says they look at this to get a feel for the person behind the resume, as well as to check out age, fitness, professionalism, etc. Considering how at one U.S. employer we were instructed NEVER to indicate age, race, gender etc. on our interviewing notes, it seems odd to me that these are things the employers here want to know right up front. However, I can see why it would be to the business's advantage to know about these things, though it raises hackles on my sensitized "Equal Opportunity" self.
  
• The German resume wants to know every detail of your life. It's not called a Lebenslauf ("life's course") for nothing. This includes all schooling, including elementary school, and marital and family status.
  
• It should be noted that they still want all the above information on 1-2 pages at most (and only more than 1 page if you're really special). So great creativity is required to get past the trivia and fit in the interesting bits of the resume.
  
• Addenda to the application usually include transcripts for high school, college, etc., as well as copies of any certificates that you've hyped in your resume. German companies don't waste time calling around to see if you're telling the truth - they want the proof upfront.
  
• German companies provide departing employees with a sort of report card of their performance to show later employers. The husband tells me they have certain stock phrases to indicate how beloved you were. Unexplained gaps in this record of employment would be very poorly viewed by potential employers who might believe that you were trying to cover up a bad review.
  

The cover letter contains more or less the same kind of information and themes you would find in an American example. There are actually business letter standards defined to which you really need to conform for an application cover letter. Non-conformance to them would be akin to misspelling the name of the company in the letter; it's considered a basic test of competence.

OK, I'm out of comments on this theme now. Back to the homework. Desperately yours,

Da Slugs

Anke discovered a slug in the bathroom this morning. It caused quite the uproar at breakfast. I had to send Stefan into take care of it. Now, I don't worry about spiders, worms, the icky green things infesting the roses, etc. But with slugs, especially before coffee, especially within the house - well, it's a no-go.

How something quite as slow as a slug managed to get in to the house is a mystery. Did it climb up the wall, into the window, back down the tile to the floor, taking all night? Did it hop a ride in on the grocery box? We'll never know; that one's history. But there are plenty more outside, waiting, I imagine, to get in and experience wall-to-wall carpeting.

Slugs are called Nacktschnecke in German, which means 'naked snail', but that's the last cute thing about then. Peter says, his teacher says, they eat dandelions, but if that's the case they aren't doing their job in my yard.

To attend to the slugs I bought several slug traps. I've always read that they like beer; according to the locals they are especially fond of the Duesseldorf specialty Alt (old) beer. So these traps we bought are placed in an indentation, filled with beer, and then apparently lure the slugs to a beery end. And they work - when you pick the traps out of the earth to empty the frothy remains, you are sure the find 8-10 juicy specimens nestled beneath. Peter and Anke earn bounties disposing of them for me down the sewer.

Which maybe is how that one got into my bathroom, now that I think of it... Well, I won't be sleeping tonight.

Kirsch Krümmeltorte

Great recipe for you all -

I figure that as a desperate hausfrau that I should feature the occasional distaff item in this blog. I've discovered here that when I have to bake something, anything I pull out of an American cookbook is greeted with rave reviews. I was flattered by this until I realized that mundane items like apple pies and brownies are pretty unknown here - at least in any form you'd recognize*. So I now I know not to kill myself - simple but authentic muffins or chocolate chip cookies will still get me, well, brownie points.

So here is a recipe from my mother-in-law for German Crumb Cake. Keep in mind - use jarred cherries; dark, morello or sour if possible. They are in the canned fruit section. Don't use cherry pie filling! If you can't get exact units, don't worry - this recipe is pretty robust and will survive estimation. If you don't have a springform pan, experiment with well greased Pyrex forms of approximately the same size, removing the cake from the pan by first loosening the sides, then inverting it onto a plate and then re-inverting it.

14 Tbs. Butter (7 oz)
1 cup (7 oz) Sugar
1 Tsp. Vanilla Extract
1 egg
Pinch of salt
3 1/3 cups flour
1 Tbs. baking powder

1 ~25 oz. jar dark cherries.
1 1.3 oz (37 g) packet cook-and-serve vanilla pudding mix

• Whip the butter with a hand-mixer until whipped and creamy (very pale yellow). Mix in the egg.
• Mix all the dry ingredients together.
• Mix dry ingredients into wet until a crumby dough forms. Chill until needed.
• Put the cherries into a pot, reserving some of the juice. Bring the cherries to a simmer. Meanwhile dissolve pudding in the reserved juice, and add mixture to the pot. Cook until juice thickens.
• Press a bit more than 1/2 the dough into a greased Springform (30cm or 11.8"), forming a thin crust up the sides of the pan. Press the dough well into the corners - don't let it remain too thick.
• Pour the cherry mixture into the shell.
• Sprinkle the remaining dough as a streusel over the top of the cherries.
• Bake at 175 degrees, checking starting at 40 minutes. Cook until the top is golden brown - 45-55 minutes.
• Let cool until the pan is touchable, then remove from Springform to wire rack to fully cool.
• Serve warm or cold, unaccompanied or with whipped cream or ice cream. Great with coffee!

The original ingredients, in case you're metric:
200 grams butter
200 grams sugar
1 packet vanilla sugar
1 egg
pinch of salt
500 grams flour
1 packet baking powder (15 g)

1 jar dark cherries
1 packet vanilla pudding (cook and serve)



* If you've ever had real Blackforest ham or apple streudel, you'd know that American versions of German items are just as bad!

More traffic woes

German traffic rules have one big difference compared to the U.S.: in most cases, cars coming in from a side street that the right of way. That means, as you drive along what in the U.S. would be a relatively main street, you have to check at every cross street for oncoming traffic (on your side of the road). It's called Right before Left. There are exceptions to this where posted, but by and large it accomplishes the goal of keeping traffic speed down within the town.

Sometimes it works too well. Here's the scenario:
Car 1 (me) wants to make a left turn.
Car 2 approaches from the opposite direction. Of course Car 1 yields to oncoming traffic.
Car 3 enters the intersection from the side street opposite me. Car 2 yields to Car 3 - it's Right before Left, after all.
Car 2, however, wants to cross the intersection - and so has to yield to Car 1, the oncoming traffic.

So now we have a loop - Car 1 yields to Car 2, who yields to Car 3, who yields to Car 1...

There is a moment of shared discomfort between the drivers until someone waves another through and the deadlock is ended.

I would think this is just me, but I've seen it happen twice in the past week and I was in a different position each time. Melanie may remember how in 1998 this rule, then unknown to her, almost caused a low-speed accident but did cause a minor heart attack in my new husband.

Educating Peter

Peter has adjusted to being in school, and has the whole homework thing pretty much down. While he does all right with the reading, it's far from his favorite subject, probably because he actually has to learn something to do it. The teacher (Mrs. Peters) used a phonetic learning program to introduce the kids to reading letter by letter. In fact, if you ask Peter to spell something, he doesn't say the letter names (ay, bee, cee, dee...) but instead just the letter sound (ah, beh, keh, deh...). In this way he seems to be able to read just about any word he comes across, given enough time (German words can be rather long...)

Since German reading isn't his favorite subject, you can imagine how he feels about English reading. But I want to make sure discovers English reading, and not wait until the 3rd grade when they'll start in the school here. After all, while I don't have an plans to move (the last transatlantic move cured me of any wanderlust), who knows where we'll be in 3 years?

I hit upon an idea a few weeks ago - shameless appealing to his mercenary nature. For every page he read outside of homework, a star. Three stars for every English page. The stars could be redeemed for small prizes. The prize list so far is:

• 10 stars: 10 minutes of me reading aloud to him, with no co-reading required on his part
• 50 stars: on ice cream cone at the ice cream shop of his choice
• 250 stars: a trip to the zoo.

I have to admit is did not have the effect I desired: Peter still showed no interest in books.

Peter's teacher was out sick this (short) school week, so there was no homework. I announced Monday afternoon a one-day bonus program: 5 stars per page of English. Now, Peter can do the math, and quickly realized that 10 pages would earn him an ice cream cone. Quicker than you can imagine, the boy had devoured 10 pages in his 'Dinosaur Day' book, and I had to start calcutating what a trip to the Krefeld Zoo was going to run me.

But luckily he couldn't hold on to them. Asterix the Gaul books beckoned, and he quickly spent 10 stars. Now his goal is 100 stars, at which point he wants to invite his little sister for ice cream. Now we're working on the slight differences in the letters - his first instinct is to read 'very' as 'fery' and 'cow' as 'cov'.

Time to start him on the Electric Company!

Memetic Tagging

Warning to the unwary reader: the following entry contains nothing about Germany; it is instead my attempt to keep up with the new thang....

I have apparently be tagged in a 'meme' but esteemed but twisted Middento (who has some of the best kid-raising stories I've ever read...). This is a new thing to me, but you're talking to a relative luddite when it comes to anything more sophisticated than email. These are apparently the rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Locate the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences on your blog and in so doing...
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged me.

Naturally, as always when encountering a new cultural trend or fact, I turned to Wikipedia to find out what the heck this is. To quote the entry:

'A meme ... consists of any unit of cultural information, such as a practice or idea, that gets transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another. Examples include thoughts, ideas, theories, practices, habits, songs, dances and moods and terms such as race, culture, and ethnicity. Memes propagate themselves and can move through a "culture" in a manner similar to the behavior of a virus.'

So back to this new viral cultural infection, which reminds me of concepts developed in Neal Stephenson's Snowcrash. With dismay I noted the only books in view were a book of fairy tales and an Asterix adventure comic. Then I remembered a few reference books under the coffee table behind me, among which I found the Amy Sedaris gem 'I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence' (Yes, this does pass as a reference book in my house. Please don't ask for what). Sadly, excepting bullet points, there are 4 sentences on this page, so I'm taking the liberty of moving on to pages 124-5:

'Everyone should have a living will. You can pick one up at the post office for peanuts and it's good because all your belongings will go to someone specific instead of going to a holding area for a few years. If you are grieving, have someone stay at your house while you are at the funeral parlor because crooks will comb the obituaries to see who has died and break into your home to steal things.'

Words for us all to live by.

Now here's the problem: Besides Middento, I only know one blogger: the inlaw over at My Extended Musings. So I guess I'm one the hook for 4 more as they come along. Check back for updates.

Zu Hause, süßer zu Hause (Home, sweet home) - from the outside

German houses have taken some getting used to. Keep in mind I grew up in New England, where the houses which aren't 200 year old clapboard sided gems are all trying to look like they are. Now come to Germany, where the first thing that strikes you about the homes is that all are brick, stone, slate, or stucco-faced. Not a bit of shingling to be found, unless you count the slate shingles on the old houses. Then you notice that all the windows are single panes of glass, not usually broken up into real or faux small panes (as they are at least in the northeast U.S.). If it is nighttime or many people are on vacation, you'll see metal-looking or wooden blinds completely enclosing the exterior of the windows and rendering the house snug as a turtle.

Entering the house, you might notice how thick the wall is around the door. Just how thick are these walls? In the spirit of inquiry I have just measured the wall at the kitchen window to be approx. 15 1/4 inches. Having watched several houses go up in our neighborhood I can tell you why - the house is assembled, lego-like, from large cement bricks (roughly 4 feet high). Then insulation, which is made of either large felt-like or styrofoam-like bricks, around 6-inches thick, is attached to the exterior of the house. Then the final facing (brick or brick-face or stucco) is put on. Older houses might be a bit different in components, but the idea would be the same. I'm told that German houses actually have efficiency standards - the walls much achieve a certain R value (if I remember my thermo correctly) to show that they are not allowing heat to escape. But as a consequence of the building materials, it's easy to spot where new houses are going up in the area, by spotting the cranes poised over them to lift the stones!

Houses are smaller here, but also more compact - our house, although approximately 1800 sq. feet, has a footprint of about (my estimate) 550-600 sq. feet. Our old American house would feel sprawling in comparison, although it wasn't really that much bigger, living area-wise. The lot on which the house sits is about 550 sq. meters, or around 5900 sq. feet (about 1/8 acre). The first thing visitors say when they come to visit - 'What a big garden you have!'. This is because, since we're the last house in our row, we have a double-wide lot. Most people's yards around here are exactly as wide as their building - meaning maybe 20 feet wide!

Germans must believe that 'good fences make good neighbors', because the first thing that goes into any new construction is something to delineate the yard, either living (hedge) or not (fence, dead hedge). This is a great thing, really, because a) Germans like to sunbathe b) Germans aren't that far behind America in the obesity race and c) many Germans like very, very brief bathing suits*.


* S. has been Americanized enough to wear a modest pair of trunks.

In the merry, merry, merry month of May

May is the month of neverending holidays in Germany.

Germans have something like 14 official holidays, which makes the average American green with envy. There are two catches, however - if a holiday falls on a weekend, it's gone. There's no "Independence Day, observed" kind of save to preserve the day off. The other catch is, that it feels like half of these holidays fall within May, leaving the rest of the year rather thinly populated.

What's in May? Well, May Day, which is celebrated as Labor Day is in the States. Even without the rather modern overlaying of the labor holiday on it, May 1st would still probably be celebrated here as a rite of spring. There are still Maypole observances here, but perhaps more popular are the Dance into May parties (actually happening April 30th) in tents, sports clubs and bars around the region. Then comes Christ's Ascension, which unfortunately fell on May 1st this year (see the weekend rule above). This is also Germany's unofficial Father's Day, which is celebrated (according to my father-in-law) by father's removing themselves to beer tents set up on the carnival fields on the edge of town.

Next comes Pfingsten, or Pentacost. This turns out to be something of a unofficial start to summer type holiday. It is followed by Pentacost Monday, which is then often followed by a gratuitous day off from school on Tuesday for the kids. Therefore, this weekend is often called "Pentacost Vacation", and 50% of the country tries to get away for the weekend starting at 2pm on the previous Friday. Last weekend, when it occurred, the radio broadcasters weren't even bothering to warn people about backups of less than 10 km (~6 miles).

Finally to round out the month comes Corpus Christi. We haven't reached this one yet, but it's another Thursday holiday, and so Friday is also a school holiday.

Interspersed with all these real holidays are various celebrations - for example, Schutzenfest, celebrating local militias and their deeds in prior centuries; or Kirmes (what American's would call a carnival). Sometimes the local kids get more holidays for these (but not for the poor kids in Moers - they only have 6 days off in May!).

Vegetative Pests

I've been getting pretty grubby this week in the yard. Germans are crazy about gardening; there's some sort of hazy cultural ideal about being close to nature that drives anyone here with a patch of dirt to cultivate, cultivate, cultivate. So I inherited a fairly well landscaped garden, or more specifically a yard encircled by a 6 foot hedge and several foot deep flower beds. My front yard, what isn't tiled over, is made up of a grassy parking space and two further beds.

So the pressure to keep this up drives me out in the yard frequently. Truth be told, I really enjoy working in the yard, but the relative formality of the layout requires me to actually fight with the parts of nature which aren't welcome.

With what am I in conflict?

Weeds: I'm pretty laid back about weeds in the lawn (much to S's chagrin); as long as it is either green or clover, it's ok with me, but dandelions drive me nuts. I have never seen such monster dandelions as I do here; part of me wonders if they actually evolved here, they are so large. They I pursue with a vengence.

Stinging nettle: I always thought this was a made-up plant; I only ever heard of it in fairy tails. But they actually spring up like, well, dandelions, usually along the borders of fences, fields or hedges. Brush them and the skin immediately starts an unbearable burning itch that lasts about 15-30 minutes.

Ivy: I can't believe that people buy this stuff in garden centers here, because I am constantly finding it invading my beds.

Brambles: Another fairy-tale plant (remember the thorn bushes around Sleeping Beauty's castle?), these form 15 foot-high mounds of impenetrable plant whenever they get the chance. The try to sneak into your yard though the hedge. But on the other hand, you can go pick pounds'-worth of blackberries just on what grows in the fields near the house (just wear long pants and closed shoes against the nettles!).

In between these invaders grow my tomatoes, peppers, currants, gooseberries, the occasional neglect-resistant rose bush, and newly added blueberries. If I win, we'll have something to harvest. But I won't be cutting off contact with the farmers' market folks just yet.

Oh that pesky diphthong...

Diphthong definitely belongs to the category of words which sound like they should be nasty, but aren't (like 'Thespian).

More on Germans and the pesky diphthong 'TH'... let me introduce you to Loriot. He is the funniest comedian I've encountered thus far in Germany - his humor, unlike the regular slapstick I've found here, is Monty Python dry. (not that I'm panning the slapstick; when you can't get the verbal jokes, the slapstick always pays off).

In this sketch, a regular partner of his, the late, great Evelyn Hamman, is trying to bring the viewers up to speed on what has happened in a miniseries her program has been showing. Watch as she gives the aristocratic British names her best try - with increasing difficulty as she starts tripping over the pronounciation. Don't sweat not understanding the German - just listen for the names.

Brand New

One thing I didn't expect moving over here was to have my entire working knowledge of how to shop, wiped out. Imagine going into a grocery store to buy, well, anything. Let's agree for the sake of argument that you actually are able to read the labels and talk to the sales staff sufficiently. (If you can't, you will be buying items based on the pictures on the packages, and are libel to find yourself with many interesting and unexpected foodstuffs when you get home).

Now, you enter the grocery store looking for, say, cake mix. Greeting you are an array of brands with deceptively attractive-looking cakes. Prices vary widely between brands. Which one to take? Do I really want to put the effort into making a substandard cake if I purchase the wrong one? Will have have enough eggs to make a backup? Who is this Dr. Oetker, anyway? I'll disappoint my guests! My mother-in-law will think I'm a bad caretaker for my family! My neighbor will purse her lips disapprovingly at the crazy American! My children will eat it anyway because 1) it's sweet and 2) it's sweet! After dithering for an embarrassing amount of time, I think, I'll take the virtuous route and make something from scratch.

Turning around to the 'from scratch' part of the baking aisle and - you guessed it - back to the start. Trial and error has shown me that even familar brands like Heinz or Colgate are just a bit different than their domestic versions.

Buying meat is also something of challenge as well, but with those I'm pretty safe with these fine (and legitimate) German words: der Steak, der Hamburger and die Ribs. Cheese is hit or miss - sure, there's lots of Emmentaler, Limburger, Edammer - but when you really want a nice bit of Cheddar... *sigh*. Tacos with an aged Gouda aren't that bad though!

True agonizing comes with items that require committment - a tube of toothpaste, for example, a bad choice of which will condemn me to weeks of dreading the toothbrushing ritual. Why, you might ask, don't I through the things away, if I don't like them? Then I answer - didn't you see my post where I mentioned how miserly I am? I can't just waste good toothpaste!

p.s. turns out that good old Dr. Oetker is the German 'Betty Crocker', and has saved my hide a few times. Thanks, Doc!

But of course...

I have officially forbidden the term 'of course' from the house. The follow-up comment 'What did you expect' is also verboten. I have come to realize there is no 'of course' in a new culture.

The answer to 'What did you expect' is, naturally, whatever one would expect in the home country. What you get is something else!

Language Tests

What do you do when you live in a foreign country and your child develops a lisp in her mother tongue?

Now, in German, they don't have the 'th' sound. There have been plenty of jokes about this; the best is probably this Berlitz ad:

So the fact that Anke's a bit soft on her TH's doesn't really show up on the radar of her kindergarten teachers, or get picked up during the preschool language screening done here. It does mean, though, that conversations with her usually involve us kneeling down to show her how to say 'TH'. This involves exaggeratedly sticking our tongues out through our teeth while almost clamping down with the teeth. How Anke has not lost the tip of her tongue during these exercises yet is beyond me.

To illustrate the difficulty, here is a transcript from a conversation a few months ago:
Anke: One, Two, Free, Four, Five...
the Mother: No, Anke, Look, it's THree...
Anke: Ok. One, Two, Three, Thour, Thive....

I can report that she has the 'Three' down pat now. This success hasn't translated into other uses, though.

All Easter'd out

Easter is over, and the kids are getting ready to head back to school and kindergarten. It will be a relief to get back to ordinary time...

In the US most think of Easter as a one-day celebration; the devout may consider the 40 days of Lent as a part of the Eater observance. Here in Northrhine-Westfalia (the state, or Bundesland, in which we live), the Easter season begins really in November. On the 11th of November, St. Martin's Day, the Karneval season officially begins. It's also called the 'Fifth Season' here in Germany. It's mostly noted by the coronation of the king, queen, prince and princess of the Karneval. During the ensuing months, little takes place other than the occasional 'Sitzung', or sitting, which seems to be
an opportunity for people to attend a sort of dinner-theater featuring funny outfits, a lot of drinking, and many, many bad jokes (usually told in the local dialect). I know this because as time goes on, they are increasingly broadcast on TV.

Finally this season culminates in the actual Karneval celebration, on which I could write volumes, but will limit myself in this posting to describing it as Mardi Gras as organized by a people who take their partying as seriously as they take their work, and held outdoors regardless of the temperature.

Then Lent starts. Germany is an odd mix of secular and churchly, and it shows in this time. While in the kids' school (public) and kindergarten (Catholic) the story of Easter was often discussed, colored, crafted and otherwise instilled, outside of school (and church), in day-to-day life, I don't see much evidence of observance. By this is mostly mean a decrease in pastries in the bakeries and an increase in fish dishes advertised at restaurants. Hardly a wide swath of society by which to draw a conclusion, but I live a fairl

Come the end of Lent, the children generally attend an ecumenical service on the last day of school before vacation. Vacation starts the week before Easter and lasts 2 weeks. This allows the school to skip over a few holidays in this time, but means the vacation moves all over the calendar through the years, following Easter.

Good Friday and Easter Monday are holidays. 95% of businesses close on these days, including grocery stores, theaters and many, many restaurants. The Catholic services aren't significantly different than the American ones, other than the rather glaring difference of them being in German, although the churches I've been to integrate more music than many in the US.

One wonderful thing about a the German's attitude toward the two day holiday (Easter and Easter Monday) is that one has that much more time to see family over the holiday, and everyone is just as happy to see you on the second day as on the 'real' holiday. Christmas is the same way - the 25th and 26th are both 'Christmas'.

The Easter bunny makes an appearance here in Germany, too, but I can't really make generalizations about how much he brings here compared with the US, because it varies so much between families, just as in the US. However, unlike Santa Clause, the US isn't blamed for the Easter Bunny's creation. According the Die Sendung mit der Maus (The Program with the Mouse, the awkwardly named but brilliantly executed children's show I watch with the kids every week) the Easter Bunny has been around Germany since the 18th century, but not universally. In some areas they had the Easter Crane, Fox or Hen instead of the Rabbit.

But now that Easter's out of the way, Germany can start to focus on the main event of their REAL religion - the European soccer championship coming up this summer.

I find it quite amazing how much about what's going on in America that I see here on the news. The election usually leads off the news. Exciting bits like tornados and U.S. presidential visits abroad usually show up later.

Usually what happens is, we're watching the news (8-8:15 every night, every station), and I'll see some piece on the presidential election, a scandal, a crime (or all three in one). I'll only understand 50% of what is going on, mostly because I can't decide whether to focus on the American speaker in the backgound or the German translation voiceover. Then I have to run downstairs to the computer and log in to find out the whole story.

But why the fascination with the U.S.? Regarding the primary, the husband comments that he doesn't remember seeing this much reportage during primary season in his youth. Is it that this year is simply so dramatic, or is it that Germany sees the nature of its relationship to the US riding on this election? Or something else... That certainly doesn't explain the American celebrities showing up in the news, or the other news reports. Perhaps the U.S. is playing the same role to the world that the British royal family plays in the U.K. - loved and hated at the same time, followed and criticized at the same time.The election usually leads off the news. Exciting bits like tornados usually show up later.

My leading theory is just that because Germany depends on the U.S. for most of its drama and comedy programs, as well as movies, it watches what happens in America to make sure conditions don't lead to another writers' strike.


Or perhaps I'm just full of §)(/$§)(")%/=&="....

Aldi - the short story

Ok, so there has been a comment about Aldi. Aldi is a limited selection discount grocery chain here in Germany. In other words, it doesn't have everything you're looking for, but what it has, is deeply discounted. It is the same company that some of you have nearby; probably in some low-rent neighborhood. It should tell you something about the success of this chain that despite the low prices, its founders are among the richest people in Germany (if not number 1!), and this in a country where Walmart couldn't compete.. Surprisingly, their food is quite good in general; their jelly in particular is outstanding.

However, like almost all German retailers, Aldi has side lines outside of the core of groceries. In addition to travel packages and branded prepaid cellphone accounts, every week they have a selection of non-food items - clothes, household items, automobile accessories, furniture... again, a very limited selection of styles, but very deeply discounted. Visiting Aldi on a Monday morning when they have children's clothes on sale is akin to visiting Filene's Basement on the day of their bridal sale (for those of you not from the Boston area, you'll just have to trust me that it's wild).

The odd effect of Aldi is, that if you are yourself an Aldi shopper, you can immediately recognize other Aldi families. This is because their kids are dressed in the same jackets as yours (there were 2 styles on sale last week), and the Easter decor on their table is one you almost bought yourself. Going to pick up Peter at school is a challenge - when they are on the playground, there are so many blond kids in Aldi grey jackets, it takes me a while to pick him out. Usually I pick the smallest kid, and that's usually my child.

To those of you in America you happen to live near an Aldi - get over the neighborhood it is in and visit it. This is the same company, and they often feature items imported from the German branch. The dark chocolate is really good; and the Stollen (German fruit bread for Christmas) is the same as they sell here in Germany. You can see their specials online - www.aldi.com.

Happy shopping.

Trödel Season!

One American I met when I first came here explained that Germans were the cheapest people she'd ever met. She didn't realize that she was talking to a New Englander, and we consider that a virtue.

Germans love a bargain. They therefore love flea markets. They love them so much that they have even verbified the word for flea markets, Trödel, so that one can actually "go flea-marketing" (trödeln) in German (note: all translations are mine and therefore the responsibility for all poorly translated terms is mine alone!).

Given that all stores are closed here on Sundays, the weekend Trödelmärkte (flea markets) are a huge draw. Often taking up a whole shopping center parking lot, they attract such crowds that you can count on a 10 minute walk the market from the nearest parking space. They are a mix of people emptying closets (who'd have a yard sale in the States), semi-professional collectibles dealers (getting out into the sun after a week of posting things on eBay), food sellers, and people selling disturbingly inexpensive bike parts, clothes, toys and cosmetics.

The children's flea markets are the best. No, they aren't selling children (with the population decline here I'm not sure they'd be a market) but rather children's things. These are usually held by kindergartens (preschools). Parents convinced they're through with a certain phase of child-rearing sell off the unripped, unbroken and more-or-less complete remains of a childhood at bargain prices. There are two kinds of sellers at these markets. The first is those who think their items are worth something and therefore want a decent price for their goods. I avoid them. The other are the practical types who just want this stuff out of their house and seem only to be asking for a bit of money so that no one gets suspicious that they might be unloading garbage. They are the best, for this attitude speaks to me.

As Peter likes to come to stop from a full run by using his knees as brakes, I no longer am willing to buy even 5,99 Euro jeans from Aldi for him (I'll tell you about Aldi later - it deserves its own post). So when I can score some gently used 1,50 Euro jeans for him from someone who knows how to come to a gradual stop, I'm in heaven. I've also rather shamelessly begun buying all sorts of toys for the kids there - frankly, come St. Nicholas, Christmas or birthdays (or as well call it, the month of December), they are too excited to notice the lack of boxes, or that an item is coming fully assembled already...

And do I have to point out that trödeln is good for the environment?

So buy your kids some used stuff today!

Driving in Germany, cont'd.

From an email from someone calling himself "the dumb American" (anything but):

Did you ever the hear the joke about the difference between heaven and hell? In heaven the French do the cooking, the Brits are the police, and the Germans make the cars. In hell, the Brits do the cooking, the French make the cars, and the Germans are the police.

Ha ha ha.

Well, maybe it's in the delivery....
----------end of email---------------

From this I conclude that I'm just one dinner of fish-and-chips away from hell...

Driving in Germany

Just over a year ago I got my German driver's license. While this has certainly opened up many new opportunities for me to explore Germany, it has also opened up many new opportunities for me to get hopelessly lost. With a combination of luddism and masochism, I refuse to get a GPS system. Instead I putt around in my woe-fully underpowered Peugot 206 with a street atlas on the seat next to me. I call it my MPS - Map on the Passenger Seat. Sadly, map reading is somewhat difficult at 50 kmph, and last minute changes in road configuration can through my plans into disarray. For example, I have tried now without success 2 times to the find the Duisburg train station. The first time, I became hopelessly lost and eventually found my way out of the city. The second time, I because hopelessly lost, made an illegal left turn, and was immediately pulled over by a motorcycle cop.

Now, German police are professional, competent and... green. A fine, friendly, almost-Kelly green. And they drive station wagons. This makes them somehow less intimidating and more friendly to me than American police. Hopefully I will never be disabused of this notion. Anyway, this fine officer pulls me over and gives me a 10 Euro fine instead of the normal 30 Euro fine, paid immediately by debit card. Why did I get off so easily? Some possibilities my neighbors came up with:

1. I speak German. You might not think this is charming, but most Americans I've met here speak almost none. He may have thought it nice to meet one who could abjectly apologize.
2. I'm cute. I don't buy into this one; even had I been cute in the past, I'm well past 30, and my eyelash-batting days are over. The husband does get points for suggesting this one, though.
3. I was polite. When I told this story to my neighbor, she was amazed. "You met him at the window with all your papers? You apologized?". Apparently, a German would more likely argue that the infraction was so insignificant, it doesn't deserve a ticket, and doesn't the officer have better things to do with his time, and no one was hurt/inconvenienced/made late by his actions...
   

You be the judge.

The first post: reporting from Germany

Welcome to my first foray into the 21st century. Allow me to bring you up to current events:
Just over 2 years ago we decided to up and move the family to Germany. Now we live just north of Düsseldof, are a half-hour away from my in-laws, and I've transformed from a working mom to a desperate Hausfrau. Why desperate? Read on...